I touched my face the other day, while watching one of the dozens of TV holiday movies we watch each year – I don’t know why we can’t stop watching them, as they are all nearly identical, but that’s for another blog. I felt a near healed cut on my face, that was likely from shaving, walking through the woods, or from the razor sharp fingernails of our youngest child. Regardless of how it got there, it got me thinking about healing, and how amazing it is that a scratch, cut, or bruise will often heal completely, without any trace that it was ever there. Most small wounds are like this, and without any intervention other than a bandaid, they heal on their own and we never think of them again. What about the deeper wounds?

Deeper wounds require care

Deeper wounds require care. Bandaids still work, but without sutures or proper wound care, you’re left with a scar that will last a lifetime. This scar will depend on the extent of the injury, and will fade over time, but it will always be there. Take the same wound however, and have it stitched up right away, followed by changing the dressings regularly, and applying a healing ointment. This wound might heal with the slightest of scars, and just a faint reminder of the initial injury. Take the same wound again, and now have the most skilled plastic surgeon suture it closed, and follow up with the best of care. You may actually be able to eliminate the scar altogether.

Can the same healing be done to emotional injuries, and can we improve how we heal with proper care? Absolutely, but we have some choices to make. We choose how we want to react to most emotional injuries, and often times we exacerbate the injury by the way we react. Think about the last rude store clerk you encountered. Did you become frustrated with their disregard for customer services? Did you get angry yourself? Did you feel your heart rate skyrocket as your temper flared? Or, did you try to instil positivity in their day by taking the opposite path? It doesn’t always work, and they may be so engaged in whatever is bothering them that day that you may never be able to change their mind, but I promise you that you will leave the interaction feeling better. Your heart rate will remain normal, your temper calm, and your wound (incredibly minor in this case) will have almost fully healed. As the days and weeks go by, you will have likely forgotten about the incident altogether, and your wound would have fully healed. This is a very small example, but clearly demonstrates how we have a choice in how we react to things, and can apply this on a larger scale. I talk about this more in my slap shot analogy post here.

How do we consistently find positivity

So, how do we consistently find positivity and opportunity in an emotional injury? The answer is by looking at the physical injuries you’ve had, right from your childhood to where you are now. How many of those injuries resulted in lifelong scars? Very few. How many did you ignore, which may have resulted in a more permanent scar than necessary? A few. How many did you treat quickly and with the utmost care and attention? Probably even fewer, but the ones you did likely healed well.

Each time you are faced with a minor emotional injury, remember that it will heal. Just like the cuts and scrapes you had when you were a child have healed and faded away, so too will most of the emotional cuts and scrapes you receive as you navigate life – and there will be many.

Sometimes we need professional help

When you’re hit with a more intense injury, remember that you can still heal, but it will leave a mark, and hopefully that mark will help you grow as it fades over the years. Finally, if the injury is severe, remember that the scar it leaves behind can only be minimized if we treat the injury, care for ourselves, and foster healing. Most injuries, physical and emotional will heal on their own, but some will cut you so deep that they will require more than just an emotional bandaid. Put yourself first, lean on your true friends, and seek the help of the “plastic surgeons” of the mental health world. Sometimes we need professional help. In the end, you may still have a scar, but you can sleep better at night knowing that you put up the best fight, and healed as well as you could.

Lastly – learn from each of your scars, and grow from the wounds you’ve received. Finding opportunity in everything life throws at us is what I call Karmatunity.