I had the pleasure of reading a fantastic book about living and dying better, and was even fortunate to speak with the author prior to it being published. Yvonne Heath, a former Registered Nurse living in Muskoka, Ontario, Canada grew tired of seeing patients, family, and friends having to deal with death on a daily basis, rarely taking steps to prepare for it. I feel like she was frustrated that time after time, we failed to be ready when death impacted our lives, and why shouldn’t she be? After all, death is inevitable. We will all die, and whether it happens tomorrow, in two weeks, or 50 years from now, anything we can do to better prepare for it will make the “inevitable” process that much better.

Understand and own our phobia of death….live a fulsome life

“Love Your Life to Death” invites the reader to understand and own our phobia of death, which is the first step to being prepared for dealing with it. Yvonne also covers why there needs to be a greater emphasis on quality of life vs simply keeping someone alive, and then, when the time comes, giving the person and their friends/family the tools needed to prepare for grief….and then work through it. The book also focusses on living better. After all, we can’t always prepare for death – we need to live a fulsome life and include the preparation of death as just one part of our journey.

Dig a little deeper and you will find that not only did Yvonne bring this important message to paper, but she has created a Getting Ready for Grief program, as well as spearheaded the #IJustShowedUp movement. More on this, including a fantastic TEDx talk can be found by visiting www.loveyourlifetodeath.com where Yvonne talks more about the #IJustShowedUp movement.

Over the years in my career I have had to give many death notifications to family members, and I can promise you that it is incredibly hard to know what to say. Over time, you develop an inventory of things to do and say, but not without stumbling along the way. Yvonne’s message is more simple though – Just Show Up! It doesn’t matter what you say or what you do, just being there for someone while they grieve, or in their time of need is often enough. It’s a simple phrase, but often hard or uncomfortable to put into action. What I can promise you though, and I’m sure Yvonne would agree, is that the rewarding feeling you will experience after “showing up” for someone is unparalleled. It will be hard. It will be uncomfortable. But, both you and the griever will be better off in the end.

#IJustShowedUp

Death will happen, and it doesn’t care about our agenda. The key to making death better is to talk openly about it now, while you’re healthy. Normalize that it will happen, and instead of fearing it, prepare for it. If all else fails and we haven’t had a chance to prepare for it, be sure to just “show up” for those left behind. The pain will still be there, but if we show up for each other during some of the hardest times in our lives, we make things better. Can we die better? Absolutely – Just Show Up.