I recently read an article about the “death” of the slap shot in the NHL. Once a go-to tool in every player’s inventory, and a feared weapon of some of the game’s elite, the slap shot has gone the way of wooden hockey sticks and affordable beverages at the games. If you’ve ever played hockey, whether on ice or on the street, you are guaranteed to remember waiting for the perfect opportunity to wind up and unload your fiercest slap shot. It was terribly inaccurate, hard on your stick, and easy to intercept, but it instilled fear into the goaltender on the receiving end, especially those who predated masks or played with those deadly orange balls on the street.

…choose to accept that perhaps it was an honest mistake

Choices in life aren’t that much different. Think about how many times each day we are faced with a decision about how we want to react to what is put in front of us. We have many options: anger, sadness, frustration, delight, excitement, fury, glee, among others. I am not naïve enough to think or say that we always have a choice about the way we will feel when something happens, but we certainly have a choice about to what extent we want to let those feelings dictate our reaction. Someone cut you off in traffic? You have a choice – you can take them out with a PIT maneuver (this will get you arrested), or choose to accept that perhaps it was an honest mistake, and move on. You can also choose an infinite number of reactions in between. Is your coworker late for work, leaving you to do double duty until they arrive? You have a choice – throw your hands up and walk out the door, likely losing your job at the same time, or you can wait for them to arrive and ask if everything is okay. Again, you have an infinite number of other choices in between.

We ignite the “fight” response in our bodies

If we have so many choices when it comes to how we react, why do so many of us choose to bring out the “slap shot” when we are faced with a challenge, obstacle, or insult? One reason is that when we get angry, truly angry, we ignite the “fight” response in our bodies, leading to an increase in adrenaline and a feeling that we are on top, in charge, and stronger than our opponent. The problem with this response, however, is that it often leaves us exhausted in the end, and asking ourselves if it was worth it. If we’re dealing with family, friends, or coworkers, we are also left with wondering if we have some damage control to do. With this said, anger does still serve a purpose, and allows for an emotional release that may help us deal with stressors and challenges, but do we always have to resort to the slap shot?

As we navigate what this post-pandemic world will look like, one thing has become abundantly clear. People have changed, both for the good and for the bad, and society has changed. We have grown impatient with systems and with each other, and the only way we will come out the other side better than when we started will be if we make the conscious decision to think about our responses before we make them. Consider that someone might be having a really bad day. Consider that you might have things in your life that are influencing how you react. Take just a second or two before each reaction to evaluate the pros and cons of doing what you’re about to do, or saying what you’re about to say.

I often take a second or two before I respond to any question or request, not because I don’t know the answer, but because I want to make sure I’ve weighed how my response will impact the person on the receiving end. At the end of this one or two second evaluation I may very well choose to stick with an angry or negative response, but the key is, I considered how that response is going to be received and how it will impact the person I’m dealing with.

Consider the many response options you have

I challenge everyone to pause more often, and consider the many response options you have prior to responding to someone. You are allowed to get angry. You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to be happy. But, most of all, you are allowed to choose every reaction you make. You are in charge – be the person you want the rest of society to be, and in doing so, we can foster a more positive post-pandemic world together. So, is the slap shot dead? I believe it is…in more ways than one.